When I first opened my eyes, I saw my world in you. To me the definition of life was you.
I still remember holding those huge fingers of yours and walking by the road, I felt like I owned the place. In the world full of monsters, you were my superhero
The kiddo me !
Growing up I always looked up to you
I decided to be a son realising being a daughter wasn’t enough. I tried my best to get all your attention by working hard and achieving great heights
I still remember the dream of buying you your dream car Daddu.
To me adding your name next to my name meant more than adding doctor in my initials. I decided to take the toughest road only to make you proud Daddu.
Going back to the day I first stepped into hostel room I knew I was all alone but, in my mind, I always had my super hero who would never let me break down. Every vacation I came home and returned to work I always told you I’m stepping out of the house to make you proud so no shedding tears. I walked out with huge smile till the day I got married
They say a girl is paraya dhan. Stupid me never believed in it till I got married.
I can never forget the day you held my hand for the first time to help me step out of the house. That’s a journey I believe. Holding your huge fingers entering this house to leaving this place forever.
Marriage definitely changes everything to a girl
Yes, she turns into women
Her own house then becomes a stranger’s place to her. Yes, Daddu this is what I feel every time. I go to another house I feel like stranger there and when I get back to my own house, I feel worser than a stranger. The feeling when you finally have no place you can call yours that’s what marriage is all about.
When your room isn’t your room anymore and his room isn’t yours too.
I had everything with me till I had you by me Daddu. Today I have nothing with me because I don’t house in your heart.
I used to always tell mom I don’t ever want to give birth to a daughter because then she will leave me. Today marriage taught me that I want to give birth to a daughter and make sure she doesn’t feel everything I felt.
You were my superhero till the day I saw all the wrong you did to mommy. Today I see myself in her eyes
I realised the world I built since childhood it turned out to be comic house now-
So fake-
It hurts!
I feel very lonely daddy. I don’t feel safe around any one any more. My heart craves one hug one warm kiss and one night without tears.
To be honest Daddu losing your name next to my name I lost my entire world. I’m blind now that my initials don’t matter too.
I know I’m stupid and stubborn. I’m person who thinks love conquers world but marriage taught me reality that there is no happy place. Losing you- daddy, as my superhero wasn’t easy at all. I saw the world collapsing through your eyes because I looked upto them.
However, marriage has taught how a girl turns into women
I got to be warrior and embrace my pain.
A man once said your eyes shine brighter when you embrace pain in them. Perfectly said because I believe every woman has this charm.
As a kid you always told me I would get a new house with Prince Charming but you never told me I would never have this house and that house would never accept me.
I was looking at your mirror image in him but today I realised my image of superman itself is torn. I guess being a woman comes at a cost and in my life the cost of it was losing you and this house…
I wish I could tell you some day that the way I boss around here my voice is never above my decibel after marriage. I feel I lost my charm daddy. Even when I try to vent out or cry out loud, nobody can hear me screaming. May be my pain isn’t loud enough to reach you Daddu. I always loved you but I wish I never got married. I hate the fact that you treat me like a guest when I come today because I have no place to go, I have no home.
Between being some one’s daughter in law and wife-
I miss being my daddy’s princess
Most importantly I lost myself being daughter, daughter in law and wife
I just want to be Sakshi for once without being anybody’s personal property!
With Love,
Papa Ki Pari
Written By- Dr. Sakshi
So nice 👌