I am a nearing 30 year old Mommy to my darling toddler and sweetheart foetus.
I am a happy person . Yet I am lonely , overwhelmed, overstimulated, sad and an under confident person.
And I am supposed to be a Mommy.
I was nothing like this before .
I had a life , a real social life. Maybe not a party animal , but surely a bug in me.
Where did all that go ?
I was ambitious , I am ambitious.
Maybe, my metrics of success have changed ?
I feel far away from my friends .
My friends who belonged to my ‘Past Life.’
I wish I could pull them in with me on to my boat.
And forever sail to the end of my time..
But maybe , they like their own space now ?
Maybe they don’t like me in their space anymore .
Yet forever they remain etched in my heart .
Missing them forever, missing my ‘Past Life’ , my ‘Past Self’.
Mind you ! I love being a Mommy . It is my favourite role!
My tiny humans love me no matter what . They need me.
They come back to me .
I love being the centre of their ‘World’.
I may be jealous of them people , whose time isn’t hijacked like mine .
At the same time , I am filled with gratefulness for being gifted the privilege to be a Mommy.
Jumbled thoughts, jumbled emotions. Only confusion!
They told me to find my Tribe .
Well Tribe ! Do you hear me ?
Perhaps we could be friends?
– Linda Charly